So, Pa Pajamas is in hospital. He came off his bike going downhill at some considerable speed and landed directly on his head in such a way that he broke clean through his helmet. He lay in the street for a while before some old blokes found him and called an ambulance. 

We were worried for a bit, but it seems like he’s mostly just concussed and bruised all over and confused and upset to find himself naked and surrounded by strangers. He’s mashed up all to hell, but nothing life threatening. 

Meanwhile, the middle aged mafia is so strong in my suburb that by the time Ma Pajamas got home from the hospital two of her friends had emailed her to say that they’d written complaints to the council about the dangerous corner that he’d hit. 

Just got a message from Yvette saying that she was walking down the street when she unexpectedly found her path blocked by David Letterman and Serena Williams playing tennis in the middle of the road. Is this a normal America thing? 

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

(Source: hxcfairy)

(Reblogged from ihavenomouthandmustscream)

Ah yes, my nightly ritual of going through the entire semaphore alphabet before I find a position that’s comfortable to sleep in. 


my partner tried to call me a sweetheart the other day but he misspelled it and I read it as “sweetbeard” and then I decided that this is what dwarf couples call each other

so, naturally, here are two dwarves on a date

(Reblogged from confusementation)

No wonder so many of Yvette’s primary school teachers mistake me for her all grown up! I always wondered how they thought the popular school captain turned into a pale doughy weirdo. 

Aw, look at this cute little weirdo. Whatchu up to, buddy? Eighteen year old stuff? Sounds awesome. You have fun, now. 

(Source: -teesa-)

(Reblogged from confusementation)

I sat in my car in the rain for so long today that all of the windows steamed up. I’d just finished making jokes in my head about that scene from Titanic when a cop car pulled up next to me and shone a spotlight in. I can’t imagine how disappointed they must have been when, instead of finding two teenagers having sex, the spotlight just illuminated me, wrapped in jumpers and with a blanket over my knees, eating an apple and staring back at them like a gormless pile of laundry.

(Source: queer-tears)

(Reblogged from murbeft)