July 2011
1 tag
Jul 29th
513 notes
1 tag
Jul 29th
60 notes
Jul 29th
78,548 notes
If I type "incest" instead of "invest" one more...
Jul 29th
16 notes
2 tags
Jul 29th
11 notes
1 tag
Jul 29th
301 notes
Just met a guy named Great.
I have never been more jealous in my entire life. 
Jul 29th
28 notes
1 tag
Jul 29th
17 notes
1 tag
You know what was always the worst thing about...
The Name Game.  You know, the game where you have to go ‘round a circle and say your name, and a positive adjective starting with the same letter?  Now, it’s an inoffensive enough game, in itself. It’s quite easy, if you happen to be Radiant Ruth, or Enthusiastic Emma, or Super Sarah.  Have you tried having a name that starts with the end of the alphabet? For the first twelve...
Jul 29th
30 notes
2 tags
Jul 29th
13,027 notes
1 tag
Jul 29th
64 notes
Jul 29th
4 notes
1 tag
Jul 28th
24 notes
1 tag
Suffering a good deal from sleep deprivation, at...
Today, I had bit of a minor breakdown, whilst taking an inquiry on the phone. It started badly, when I opened with “Good morning, sorry, good morning!” despite the fact that it was five-thirty at night. It went downhill when I unsuccessfully tried to say a simple sentence, three times, before making an involuntary sobbing noise and saying sadly, “I’m so tired”. And...
Jul 28th
24 notes
1 tag
Jul 28th
52 notes
I'm slowly stealing pieces from all the other fake...
Jul 28th
34 notes
1 tag
Jul 28th
76 notes
Jul 27th
21 notes
Every now and again, I remember that there is a...
Jul 27th
97 notes
1 tag
Jul 27th
40,940 notes
A guy called Salem came into the office, today.
And I had to spend fifteen minutes talking to him like he was a regular person and I wasn’t just thinking: 
Jul 27th
35 notes
whitepajamas: did you move things around in the bathroom, at all, today?
mum: no, why-- oh, because there's a chair in the bath?
whitepajamas: and a bar of soap on my toothbrush.
mum: oh, yeah, i did that.
whitepajamas: you really mashed it in, huh?
mum: yeah.
whitepajamas: mmm.
Jul 27th
12 notes
1 tag
Jul 27th
7 notes
1 tag
Do you have a favourite film?
Do you have a film that you think everyone should see? Tell me that film, because tonight I feel like buying it.
Jul 27th
44 notes
Hey, remember that time my future ex-girlfriend...
Man, that was a happening. 
Jul 27th
12 notes
2 tags
Jul 27th
4,830 notes
1 tag
HAVE ONLY HAD TWO COFFEES, SO FAR, TODAY.
Jul 27th
11 notes
Jul 27th
80,116 notes
1 tag
Got a resume in today from a chap who says that...
Which means that he’s expecting to earn about $900 for each of the approximately fifty days that he will work, per year. 
Jul 27th
2 tags
Jul 26th
89 notes
1 tag
Jul 26th
1 tag
Today someone submitted a resume to me, typed...
Jul 26th
32 notes
1 tag
Jul 26th
107 notes
1 tag
I keep getting spam faxes, and I'm like, WHO TAKES...
Jul 26th
18 notes
1 tag
Jul 25th
137 notes
1 tag
Hey, remember that time I saw John Noble in a...
Jul 25th
42 notes
Sitting here eating plain pasta, because when...
She turned on the lights and she turned on the fan, but she didn’t turn on the heat. 
Jul 25th
13 notes
1 tag
Jul 25th
152 notes
1 tag
A SMALL ELDERLY WOMAN JUST CAME INTO THE OFFICE...
Jul 25th
31 notes
1 tag
Jul 25th
17 notes
1 tag
Jul 25th
154 notes
1 tag
Jul 25th
320 notes
1 tag
SOMEONE LEFT A PLATE OF COMMUNAL BAKLAVA OUT ON...
I’D BETTER EAT ALL OF IT TO MAKE SURE IT DOESN’T GO BAD BEFORE THE DAY STARTS.
Jul 25th
17 notes
2 tags
Jul 24th
55 notes
1 tag
Jul 24th
Jul 24th
45,386 notes
1 tag
Jul 24th
9 notes
sleepybones- asked: imagine if your life could be narrated by Stephen Fry and James May...
how amazing would that shit be?!
Jul 24th
20 notes
Jul 24th
414 notes
1 tag
HEY ZIO HAVE YOU HAD FIVE COFFEES AND TWO COKES,...
YEAH I TOTALLY HAVE BUT I’M STILL SO TIRED THAT I JUST WANT TO CURL UP UNDER THE FRONT DESK AND NAP. 
Jul 24th
11 notes