glorious dinosaur steed

May 19

[video]

[video]

Which pair of pants did I leave the deactivation code in?: A story of how I don’t save the world.

• grandfather: janny, do you have the silver phone up there? you said you picked it up and heard some funny noises.
• grandmother: no, i have the black phone!
• grandfather: well, my darling, that would be the tv remote.

Aw what, but I bought them for companionship. 

My position as family mediator means that I just got a call from my father, asking me to mediate between my mother, who is in Italy, and my sister, who is in France.

May 18

[video]

The “W” of course stands for “Watercress”. 

I AM ZIO W. PAJAMAS AND HEAR ME ON THIS. TOMORROW I AM GOING TO MAKE VEGETABLE PARCELS IN FILO PASTRY AND YOU ARE GOING TO HOLD ME TO THAT, INTERNET, BECAUSE I KEEP EATING CHIPS INSTEAD OF DINNER.